The Day That Deserved Better
The afternoon was bright and pleasant and the sun created soft spots of shade in the garden as my event happened. Friends gathered, laughter echoed, music floated through the air. Such days are like treasures and you want to save them to experience again and again.
Except… I can’t.
Because I didn’t hire a photographer.
It seemed right at the time to avoid an extra fee. I thought people would take plenty of pictures during the event with their phones. I told myself, “We’re going to be too caught up having fun to even think about it.” Who needs a pro?”
If I had my time machine, I would pick that younger me up and smack them with an album I don’t have.
I’m going to tell you why having a photographer turned out to be the biggest mistake for me—and the emotional effects I didn’t see coming.
I Thought Phones Would Be Enough
We live in the age of smartphones. Everyone has one. Everyone’s snapping pictures. So, I thought, “Let’s crowdsource the memories!”
The problem is… no one really did.
Sure, a few friends took selfies. A cousin caught a blurry photo of the food. My aunt took a fairly good photo of the cake table and a lot of it was eaten.
But the heartfelt moments? The spontaneous hugs? How he reacted with a big smile when we played his favorite childhood tune for him that day?
Gone.
No one captured those. Because they were enjoying the action, instead of planning photos in their mind. They weren’t watching for emotion. They weren’t framing the shot. They weren’t ready.
Because no one saw to the task, all I could see were disconnected pieces.
I Missed Being In the Moment Too
Here’s the other truth. Since I didn’t hire a photographer, I handled taking photos myself.
Meanwhile, my audience laughed and bonded and I was taking pictures like a paparazzi—with terrible lighting and a shaky hand. I asked myself, “Did I get it?” or “Would it be better to have them pose again?”
I wasn’t present. I wasn’t soaking in the joy. I tried to shoot it with a camera that I didn’t understand well.
And let’s not forget the awkwardness. Every backward step to shoot a photo disturbed the atmosphere. I broke eye contact. I ruined surprise moments. I was someone invited to participate, but I barely took part and was no help as a photographer.
Milestones Don’t Repeat
That event? It was my parents’ 40th anniversary.
Forty years of marriage. Of love, of ups and downs, of shared dreams. Everyone shared many stories, gathered with relatives and some family members flew in just to join the celebration. Some of them, I haven’t seen since.
One guest—my uncle from overseas—passed away six months later. I don’t have any single sharp photo of him from that day.
It still stings.
Milestones like that don’t have do-overs. It is impossible to dance as freely as a child does while all alone. You can’t restage a toast that made everyone cry.
You can’t wish yourself back to that very moment and try it all over again.
The Cost I Didn’t Calculate
I chose not to hire a photographer so I thought I was cutting down on my spending.
But what did I actually save?
Nothing I could hold onto.
Instead, I lost memories. I was unable to make a keepsake album my parents could enjoy every anniversary. I couldn’t keep that special day on my wall as a photo I could smile at each time I passed it.
If I could go back, spending a little on a professional would have given me enormous benefits.
Today, I’ve seen that the skill of a photographer lies in what they capture, when they do so and how they turn memories into something I can’t do.
It Wasn’t Just About Me
To notice your loved ones in a personal way helps them know they are valued.
Photographs do that.
After everything was over, most of the guests wondered about pictures of certain times during the event. I would get anxious every time I had to answer, “No, sorry.” I didn’t get that.”
After that, I realized both I and the people supporting me were hurt.
I couldn’t give them something to remind them of the day when we met, images that would cheer up their family or souvenirs of their happiness.
The Lesson I’ll Never Forget
So what have I learned?
Images are important because memories from important events should never be forgotten.
They tell the story you won’t remember perfectly. They help you remember the mood, how things felt and even the details your memory will erase later. They become your time machine, your scrapbook, your legacy.
A photographer isn’t necessary only because of their cameras or ability to capture ideal lighting. It’s about entrusting someone who sees what others miss. Someone who won’t get distracted. Someone whose job is to preserve joy.
I didn’t see that before. Now I do.
How I’ll Improve Next Time (And How You Should Improve As Well)
I plan to make a budget for a photographer next time instead of waiting to the end. Before decorations, before the menu, before party favors.
Since food is gone and decorations are taken down, photos remain.
I’ll also meet with the photographer beforehand. I’ll tell them what moments matter most. I’ll provide examples, so they can connect those with every click. I will request their help in seeing things I don’t notice.
Most importantly, I’ll be present—fully. I’ll let somebody else look after the past, so I can enjoy my memories.
Should you be planning an event, any size, know that I made a mistake you shouldn’t make. Don’t assume photos will “just happen.” Prevent regrets by being sure about your actions every day.
Closing Thoughts: Memory Deserves Intention
We usually don’t understand that we’re creating memories until after the memory is gone. It’s only when we look at our empty folders or blurry pictures that we notice how important photography is.
Until it was too late, I realized how important dating was to me.
Going forward, I’ll always place the top priority on what helps memories endure at events.
So hire the photographer. You’re using your money to build yourself for years to come, not only to get wonderful photos Who will look at these moments and say, “I’m happy I took photos of them.”
Ready to make your memories last forever?
Don’t leave your precious moments to chance. Book someone to take your photos today and these moments will be remembered forever. Visit our event photography website at pixorpixel.com